I have no clue what I’m doing…

Just when I think I have this diabetes all figured out… I test my blood sugar.

On days when I think I’m doing great, sometimes the numbers are high, sometimes they are normal.  I don’t feel like I can predict the machine anymore.

In the past week, I’ve tested myself and seen numbers between 94 and 168.  Never did I actually feel any different.

I know there are other factors at play with my numbers – its food, exercise and even the amount of water I’m drinking.  But it’s hard not to get discouraged when you think you’ll have a really good number, and it isn’t.

Luckily, I have a great support team in my family and my loved ones.  My mom gave me some really good advice about taking it slow the other day.  She knows me well, and knows I want to know everything about diabetes and I want to know it now – but that’s not possible.

This is one of those things you have to learn from.  When something you eat makes you spike – take note.  Foods don’t affect everyone the same.  What is good for you, may not be good for me.

It’s frustrating not being able to control what is going on in my own body.  Step by step, day by day… I’ll learn.

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Published in: on March 8, 2010 at 10:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

Pour a little sugar on me

Despite my little Archies outburst, I’m doing pretty well.

I’ll start with the good news… my blood sugar was WAAAAY down today.  And I mean in a good way.  Just 12 days ago, my B.S. was 560… today, it was 139!

While I know this is not perfect, its much better.  Even after my big meal of the day (which was a good one, btw) my B.S. was still 168.  I’m not sure how that relates to what it was just 9 hours before… but still much lower than I thought it would be.

Today was the day I was most excited/nervous about since my diagnosis – my first diabetes education class.

I don’t really know what I was expecting and I still don’t really know what I learned.  The one concrete thing that I walked away with — is my blood glucose monitoring tester.  That thing scares the crap out of me.

It’s a double-edged sword.  Not knowing how food affects my blood sugar obviously lead to a problem.  But knowing, scares me just as much.

I’m scared that this will limit me even more, and at the same time show me the harsh reality of what I’ve been doing to myself for years!

Maybe it is time for harsh reality.  No… not maybe. 

It IS time for harsh reality.

This is my wake up call… this is my new life.

Inspirational Quote: “A dream doesn’t become a reality through magic.  It takes sweat, determination and hard work.” -Colin Powell

Published in: on March 1, 2010 at 11:45 pm  Leave a Comment